Phenomenally Latina

One day during my freshman year of high school, I went to the mall with my mom. When I was there, we went into Pacsun and saw they were having a BOGO deal on T-shirts. As I was looking through them, I found it. The phenomenally Latina shirt. A shirt I had seen on a multitude of my favorite actresses through social media. This shirt was my ticket to be a part of everything I dreamed of, I can be phenomenally Latina too. Seeing how badly I wanted it, my mom bought it for me. I wore this shirt to bed at least once a week. It was almost like my little secret. As I was watching these shows with badass Latina actresses, I could look down and manifest that I will be in their position one day.

A couple weeks after I got my shirt, I got a FaceTime call from the friend group I had at the time. We were talking like we usually do, until one of them says "Wait Drew, can you lower the camera for a sec"? I pan down the camera to my shirt and hear stifled laughter in return. They thought my shirt was stupid. This didn't just happen to me once. Every single time I have worn that shirt, I have received some form of mockery or laughs. I wish I had a better response to this, and could tell you all that I wore it to school the next day or clapped back with some witty response. But I didn't. Instead, I shoved it in the back of my closet to save it for the day I felt I really was Latina enough.

Why was being proud of my cultural identity something I was told to be ashamed of? I had found a community I felt powerful in, and was being told by my family and friends through their commentary that I was some sort of joke. That my community was a joke.

My mom recently bought me a "Latina Voter" shirt. As I went to mail my ballot, I wore my shirt around campus with pride. I was hesitant to show this shirt to my suite mates, since I like this shirt and didn't want it to end up back in the closet. But, as I reluctantly showed them, I was met with compliments and praise. Maybe college won't be too bad after all.